Hunger

In my anxiety-induced restlessness, there are always two versions of me. One that is restless, self-deprecating, and hating about the fact that I am falling behind. There is another, kinder, softer, but the more resilient voice I’d like you to hear from. It’s a whisper of how far we have come. The road has been long, and slow, and hard at times, but it was a road of many many often forgotten successes. I want to never lose sight of that.

I was the first to get a university degree in my generation, and still, the first (potentially the only) who has a Master’s degree. The fact that both degrees come from prestigious universities in Singapore and in Canada made that a bit more challenging, and a bit more rewarding.

I was the first Vietnamese in 6 years of NUS Entrepreneurship program in the US, and one of the selected 12 from hundreds of applications. I had 2 promotions in 3 years in Singapore. I became a Project Manager at the age of 27. I am now a Director of Software Engineering, at the age of 35. 

As I handed in my resignation to my current role, my boss, still in shock, said, “You are an adventurous guy. So this choice made sense for you. There is no universe in which you won’t be successful.”

Truth be told, I am very anxious about what is coming up next. I am moving to Ontario in a pandemic, to a much smaller start up firm with a smaller team. I am taking my partner and my family with me, leaving behind our comfortable home and our comfortable life in a comfortable role. I am terrified. And when I look up, at my value statement, I see this.

“Growth and comfort do not co-exist”

No one knows what the future holds. Many stories of greatness start with failures and humble beginnings and tremendous risks. Many many untold stories also have risks like these.

But I’m not afraid. Restless, but not afraid. As long as my supportive partner is with me, and I can still type and program and work with people, I will be alright.

I might even be the next CTO / CPO / CEO of a tech company. Because sometimes, with enough struggles and hard work and humility and risks taking, dreams might come true afterall.