The only constant in life is change.
So, as you can imagine, when the change comes unintended, and it comes with the burden of the unchanging, for a restless heart, it’s… confusing.
I made up my mind about moving out East for a job, after 6 months of struggling to find an opportunity that would suit my background here in Alberta. I adapted and mentally prepared for that move. I started a new job in January. I built a great team (90% productivity in a sprint delivery). I released software and we shipped products into new marketplaces (Scandinavians, US, etc.).
And then I took a job in Alberta.
To the team and the management team, it was confusing. Sure I worked 50-60-hour weeks at times but I was very cheery about it (Because I was trained in Singapore for the arts of the overworked). Sure there were tense interactions with customers, but I used to work in Oil and Gas. I constantly whined about Alberta. And I guess it is confusing for me too. I’m leaving a place where I built the team myself, to a much bigger organization, taking a smaller role in the org chart, building unreleased products.
And then I look up at my value statements. Specifically.
1. “It’s all about the people”
I know me moving out East has caused a lot of anxiety for my close circles. My partner, of course, but also my brother, my friends, and the network I have built here in Calgary. I have moved my whole life and I have never understood why people are so reluctant to move. Now I do. I have never found true belonging in my life and so leaving was always so easy. Now I find belonging.
2. “Comfort and Growth do not co-exist”
Maybe this confusion, this discomfort, it’s a sign of growth. Yes, I’m launching headfirst into a new organization, reporting to a boss that is yet to be hired, heading a team I didn’t hire. All that is stress-inducing. But I strive on stress-inducing challenges. Releasing a new product can be a catastrophic failure, but it will look very sexy on life’s legacy. I’m all for #pureadventures.
So here we are. 2 job changes in the pandemic. I’m still a little anxious, a little confused, and a lot heartbroken to be leaving the 15 people I hired, trained, and coached behind. But knowing them, they will achieve great things.
I do take comfort in the fact that people have been exceptionally nice to me, showing concerns, sharing good memories, telling me I’ve done a great job. After all, that’s all a leader can ask for in the modern workplace, validation from the people he leads and the impact he imparts that stays with them beyond his tenure.
So Alerbta, here I come (back) again. Don’t break my heart again this time.
Pace Fine Arts 