I have to be honest I didn’t expect to be back to the bachelor lifestyle (staying in a one-bedroom apartment, cooking simple meals or microwaving frozen meals, taking a bus to and from work, etc.) at the age of 40; but here we are, 3 weeks after my new job in Edmonton.
The good thing about super-commuting is that I have a lot of time to myself. I could work. I could read. I could play games on steams. But most importantly, I get to reflect on the week, the month, and the life that I have. Obviously, I am super grateful (and I am super lucky) that I am here, so I won’t bore you with more of that. Instead, I want to share some observations I have about myself: what has changed (and not changed) over the years for me. It’s an exercise of stepping outside of myself to observe myself at work (and in life) in general, and it’s quite fun to see some of these things. So, come, step into my office
I am still that kid who left Vietnam for Singapore, who left Singapore for Philly, who left the US for Canada, etc. I can still go to a new place, learn all the bus routes, cook my own meals, and figure my shit out all by myself. I can be in a new job, in a new industry, in a new city, and feel like I belong 2 weeks in the job. I still have this sense of adventure, of wonder, and the “err on the side of action” attitude. The married life is wonderful and complete, but it’s nice to know that the comfort of that life hasn’t taken me away from my ability to “just pack up and go”. (However, I am not sure I can survive being super poor again, though. TBD on that.)
I am still the guy who “gets shit done”. 3 weeks in, I have helped create a launch plan for a much-delayed project, I have put together a plan to launch our performance measurement system and make meaningful connections with stakeholders and teams. It’s funny, in my last job, I was being denied promotions or growth opportunities because “You are very good at your job and delivering results, but you need to be more strategic.” (Coincidentally, the people who got promoted never seemed to really delivered on anything, just big strategy talk) This is an environment where I am starting to feel my ability to get shit done will get a lot of street creds for me to push the strategic initiatives forward.
People are still at the core of my values and the first thing on my list of “How I contribute meaningfully to this organization”. I was able to identify the superstars, the rockstars (and the laggards) in a short time here. Curiosity (with a dash of humor) is still my strongest skill. I was able to have open, candid conversations, and gather amazing insights from the people around me. There are a lot of challenges ahead, some of them seem monumental; but I feel as long as I have the people elements with me, I’ll be able to accomplish a lot here.
So here are a few things that changed:
Confidence. I have heard that word more than three times from three different people I met. “We just need some leadership to drive this initiative forward. It’s nice to have someone like you with the confidence to do it” – Direct quote. Maybe they are blowing smoke up my ass because I am the new VP. But I have to say, it is refreshing to see myself as a confident, competent (maybe a tad cocky/bossy). I have never been that guy. “Channel your inner mediocre white man”, I guess. The funny thing is, I don’t think I do it on purpose. I did have the understanding and the experience under my belt. I’ve seen this and I’ve solved these challenges before. The only difference is, I have the voice now and I have the confidence to say it, with volume.
Optimism. Some call it fearlessness. Some call it foolishness. But I think having a sense of optimism to know you can accomplish certain things, no matter how hard, uncertain, or ridiculous it might sound to some people, is critically important in leadership. I actually didn’t realize I possessed this until my last boss pointed it out to me. The cynics are often right about life. The optimists often get things done. Maybe it’s that foolishness that is giving me confidence. And maybe as a person with excessive amount of anxiety, optimism is a gift to counter-balance the weight of all the little things that could go wrong with “the plan”. I know everything will go wrong at the worst possible time. But I know no matter how many things go wrong, I will arrive at the final right destination. That’s optimism. Right?
“Zaddiness”. I don’t know what to call it, the “joie de vie”, the “je ne sais quoi”, the mix of this weird impossible lightness of meeting new people and speaking to them from a position of authority, expertise, and charm. (I know I sound like an arrogant prick now, but hear me out). I mean it cannot be a coincidence that my (female) new co-worker proclaimed “I love your personality!”, or your developers told HR people “They crept your profile and they were so glad we brought someone like you onboard”. I mean I was even hit on on Social media by 20-year-olds. As the great Pedro Pascal said “Daddy is a state of mind”
I guess it’s too early to tell if this feeling will last. Maybe it’s just the newness and the excitement of it all. Maybe it’s my brain’s coping mechanism for the stress of the new job. Honestly, I am working longer hours and harder than I have in the past years, but I am having fun. And maybe, just maybe, these positive changes can carry over outside of the job, beyond the title and the nice office, into my life, and my general attitude about life, relationship, aging, and my overall well-being and awesomeness.
(Although VP Era does have a better ring to it than Zaddy Era, which just sounds perverted and old)
Pace Fine Arts 