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“Go back to where you came from”

Where I came from1000 years of border war; 100 years of colonization; 30 years (American-backed) Vietnam War; The West speaks about us as if we were a concept,as if the poverty, the uncertainty, the lack of opportunity,is self-inflicted. Where I came from,Men love women. They get married. They bear children. They care for their elders.KidsContinue reading ““Go back to where you came from””

All you need is love (?)

“In 1967, John Lennon wrote a song called, “All You Need Is Love.” He also beat both of his wives, abandoned one of his children, verbally abused his gay Jewish manager with homophobic and anti-semitic slurs, and once had a camera crew film him lying naked in his bed for an entire day.” – MarkContinue reading “All you need is love (?)”

41

“Am I happy?” I remembered vividly the day I turned 21 (20 years ago). Perhaps because, in Singapore, that’s what people define as “adulthood” – men finish the army – and I had 5 Singaporean roommates at a time. Perhaps, because we were in New York City, first time for me, and Asians (and VietnameseContinue reading “41”

41 – Prologue

(This is 1 week out before my birthday. People who know me know I am weird about my birthday. To catch you up, new people in my life. I have this pre-birthday-panic every year because my inner Asian mom keeps telling me, “What have I done with my life besides getting older?” Then on myContinue reading “41 – Prologue”

Thank goodness

It’s been a busy and interesting weekend. Our company organized a holiday party (I know, a bit early, but they managed to reserve a premium lounge during a hockey game, which I think was a good idea, and it proved to be a really big draw among staff). A friend whom I was supposed toContinue reading “Thank goodness”

What if – If only

“Are you fulfilled? Do you feel fulfilled in life?” Usually, that is the type of question that would have sent me to a downward spiral and curled me up in a corner on the floor. That’s a tough question. That’s a big, grand question about how many of our big, grand ambitions and desires getContinue reading “What if – If only”

(Random) thoughts

I find it is just rude that summer 2025 ended on a Monday (September 22nd). What’s worse? I was on a work trip to Edmonton. And it was +25C in Calgary. So instead of chilling out in my Speedo at home after work, I am in a shopping mall eating mall food thinking about work.Continue reading “(Random) thoughts”

The coming out monologue

It is Pride week in Calgary (I know, just as most LGBTQ+ rights and human rights in Alberta and Calgary, Pride comes a lot later for us). As I look back and reflect on my life, something stood out to me. Something that I didn’t quite understand back then. I wanted to share this withContinue reading “The coming out monologue”

Six

On our fourth anniversary, I jokingly said, “We have now outlasted a car lease term.” People celebrate their wedding anniversary with material things. Paper. Diamond. Ivory. Wood. Gold. Silver. Unpopular opinion: I think we should celebrate wedding anniversaries with really mundane milestones. A car lease. A dishwasher’s official warranty. A mortgage amortization period. A dog’sContinue reading “Six”

The childless gays (with dog)

Those who are close to us know that once upon a time (pre-pandemic), we wanted to adopt and be parents. Yet, the universe had other plans. She looked at me and she said “Nah, gurl, you look better with a Speedo than with a trolley. How about an AussieDoodle instead? You have less opportunity toContinue reading “The childless gays (with dog)”